Scars. A mark left on the skin that seem to multiply over time. These deformities that are associated with a moment in time, wrinkles from wisdom, stretch marks from bearing a child, or a forever reminder of a game of basketball in a South Deering alley with my cousins that left my knee with permanent tissue discoloration.
What about those other scars? The scars nobody can see that are blatantly painful at the simplest reminder. Scars that need to be nourished and nonchalantly cared for throughout a lifetime, with a continuous need for recognition. These are the scars we work hard to conceal on a daily basis, yet no matter how bad we try they show face for fun. A reminder of your past.
Everybody has internal demons that are locked away and contained from the world and regardless of the work we do to keep them tucked away, they are there. We are all irrevocably damaged. Used and abused.
There’s a saying “birds of a feather, flock together” and the same should be said of damaged souls. The damaged somehow attract eachother. This unspoken level of understanding between two people who have undisclosed pain. Sometimes that pain is disguised with arrogance or anger but essentially, it roots from pain. Hurt people, hurt people. It’s a scary cycle that can leave someone loving the same toxic person over and over again.
It takes a special person to love someone who’s been damaged. A little more patience & a lot more understanding. It takes nurturing and compassion, something we aren’t used to. I say we because I am damaged and I wear that title with pride because it reminds me of how far I’ve come throughout the years. How I allowed fear to prohibit me to create solid relationships, how I allowed my scars to reveal the worst of me, and how I stopped my demons through faith. Has it been easy? No. It’s hard as f*ck. Every single day I work hard to nurture my insecurities. Trust me, I have plenty.
Although I will always have internal issues one thing always reigns true, when I love I love hard, I am loyal to a fault, and I’d go to war for those I love. I am damaged but I deserve love. Every damaged soul deserves to be broken of their fears, even when it seems impossible. I’ve learned to love myself, scars and all.
So at the end of the day when I look down at my left knee or the stretch marks on my stomach, I see strength. Something nobody, flawed or flawless, can ever take from me. These are my scars to claim, forever.